Faith in the Process

I had a two-hour ride this morning on the way to our first IVF consultation appointment with shaking hands a heart full of hope. I tend to overthink just about everything, and boy was my mind working in overdrive this morning! I’ve been awake since 3:30am and I was doing everything I could to occupy myself to keep my churning thoughts as still as I could. But surprisingly, the ride there was more of a quiet, strange, and calm surrender.

It’s hard to put into words what it feels like to long for a baby you’ve never met. It’s even harder to explain how you can carry so much hope and so much grief in the same breath. It’s absolutely terrifying to think of us being pregnant again. I wake up some mornings still uncertain if this is what I want to do because of how scared I am of having to go through the experience of losing another baby. My husband’s presence has been such an anchor. He’s much steadier than I am, and he certainly did his best to calm my nerves. We were both praying — not just for answers, but for peace.

When the doctor walked in, everything suddenly felt so real. We were talking about medications, injections, lab work, and science — a whole world of possibilities that sounded both overwhelming and miraculous. And as we listened, I felt a familiar tug at my spirit.

Can you trust God and still trust the process of medicine?

Absolutely. I believe that faith and science aren’t enemies — they can hold hands. Because the same God who knit us together in our mother’s womb is the God who gives doctors wisdom, equips scientists, and opens wombs in His perfect timing.

I used to think trusting God meant waiting and doing nothing until He moved. But I’ve learned that sometimes trusting God looks like showing up to the appointment, asking the hard questions, and giving Him your “yes” even in the unknown. It means letting go of your timeline while still doing what’s in front of you with faith.

This journey won’t be easy. It already isn’t. But I’m learning that God doesn’t ask us to understand every step — He just asks us to walk with Him through it.

So today, I trusted both the doctor and the Divine.

And if you’re in a similar season — facing infertility, decisions, diagnoses, or anything that makes your heart ache and your hope waver — know this: trusting God doesn’t mean you don’t also trust the tools He’s given you. It means you keep your eyes on Him while taking faithful steps forward.

Because even in the waiting room, He is working.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5

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