Faith Notes

Coming Back Close to God When You’ve Been Standing at a Distance
Lately, I’ve been realizing something hard: I don’t want to be a lukewarm Christian. Not because I stopped loving God. Not because I stopped believing in Him. But somewhere along the way, I think I slowly stepped back without fully realizing it. And that conviction hit me harder than I expected. I think sometimes we imagine “walking away from God” as this dramatic moment where someone completely turns their back on Him. But I’m learning that spiritual distance can happen quietly. Sometimes it looks like rushed prayers, unopened Bibles, and... Read more...
Following Jesus in a Busy World
📖 Luke 9:23 — “Then He said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’”📖 Matthew 6:33 — “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Life gets busy, but following Jesus was never meant to fit into the margins of our schedule. It’s the way we walk through every moment. Life today seems to move faster than ever. There’s always something that pulls our attention... Read more...
Live by Faith
Hebrews 11 “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.”— Hebrews 11:1 There are days when the word faith feels almost too big. If I’m being honest, some days it feels like I’m falling and can’t see the ground, but I know it’s there. I know there’s a soft landing to catch me. Faith stretches beyond what our eyes can see, and yet Scripture calls us to cling to it as the very foundation of our walk with God. Even when... Read more...
Gifts that God Has Given Me
1 Samuel 17: 33-38 | 1 Peter 4:10-11 | Romans 12:6-8 My friend, Amanda, shared a devotional with me this morning, and I feel like it came at just the right moment! The past few weeks I have felt the loud calling that I really need to share my gifts with the church. And that sounds absolutely crazy because I always question it like, what can I do to serve in the church? I doubt myself so much, even though I know that I have the ability to offer. But... Read more...
REJOICE IN SUFFERING
“Blessed is the one who endures trials, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12 My Bible study devotional today led me down a path that was hard for me to accept at first. But the more I read the passage above, the more I accept it, the more I want it.    I don’t know what God’s plans are for my Husband and I. I don’t like the phrase “everything happens for... Read more...
What I Wish I Knew Before Starting IVF (After Our First Transfer Failed)
I thought I was prepared.I’d read the articles, joined the groups, asked every question I could think of. I knew IVF was hard… but I didn’t know it would feel like this. We had prayed over every appointment, every shot, every result. We walked into transfer day holding onto hope like it was air. And when the call came that it hadn’t worked… it felt like the floor disappeared beneath me. It’s not just a medical process; it’s your whole heart on the line. And when it doesn’t end the... Read more...
Start Somewhere: How I Actually Learned to Study the Bible
I used to open my Bible and feel completely lost. I’d start in Genesis and get stuck by Leviticus. Or I’d flip to a Psalm, read a few verses, and wonder if it was supposed to make more sense than it did. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Jesus; I did. I do. But studying Scripture felt like something for people who had it all together. People with seminary degrees. People who knew what “exegetical” meant. Not girls like me who were just trying to make it through the day... Read more...
Facing Giants When You Feel Small
I just read the story of David and Goliath. I’d heard bits and pieces growing up: something about a boy and a giant and some stones. But sitting with it now, as an adult who's been through some things, it hit different. Because this isn’t just a children’s story.It’s a story about fear and faith.About underdogs and impossible odds.And about what God can do with someone who simply says, “Here I am.” Here’s what surprised me the most: David wasn’t supposed to win. This giant, Goliath, was terrifying. Like, actually... Read more...
How I Started Studying the Bible Without Feeling Overwhelmed
If you've ever opened your Bible, stared at the thin pages, and immediately felt underqualified to even try… you’re not alone. That was me, too. For the longest time, I thought Bible study was only for pastors, or people who woke up at 5am with color-coded pens; people who have grown up in church. I wasn’t one of them. I was just a woman searching for God in the middle of heartbreak, trying to hear Him when all I could feel was the echo of “why?” But what changed everything... Read more...
WE HAVE A DATE
🎣 We’re o-fish-ally in the wait for Baby Whitaker 💛🌈   We got the news on Wednesday (yesterday) that we had 7 embryos that made it to day five and are being sent off for genetic testing. While this number isn’t final, we’re praying over each one and that they are healthy, strong, and perfectly created under God’s touch.   We’ve been given the dates for our July transfer, and it’s all starting to feel so real. But with that… comes a whole lot of fear.   The truth is,... Read more...
The Firsts We Never Got
Today should’ve been different. There should’ve been cake.There should’ve been balloons tied to a high chair.There should’ve been a little blonde boy with messy hair and cake all over his face. Today should’ve been your first birthday, Walker Reese. But instead of planning a party, I lit a candle.Instead of wrapping toys, I wrapped my arms around empty air.Instead of hearing you laugh, I sat in silence, crying for what could’ve been. We missed all of your firsts. Your first breath.Your first cry.Your first step, first word, first everything. And... Read more...
If You Invite the Right People, They’ll Show Up
What a baby shower taught me about grief, family, and finding my people. A few days ago, I was standing in the middle of a baby shower—balloons floating, tiny gifts wrapped in soft pastels, laughter echoing off the walls—and out of nowhere, I felt that familiar tightness in my chest. The kind that sneaks up quietly when you're surrounded by joy, but your heart still remembers loss. And I said, maybe without thinking it all the way through, "I don't think I want to have a baby shower." Not because... Read more...
Deserving Has Nothing to Do With It
A few days ago, a friend said something that’s been sitting heavy on my heart, and I've typed this and retyped this over and over the past few days because of how much it has affected me. She told me, “I feel like you deserve to get pregnant more than I do because you’ve experienced loss.”And I just sat there for a moment, not even knowing how to respond right away. Because in that moment, all I could feel was love and heartbreak for both of us. Two women, standing... Read more...
Why I Post About God Now
I didn’t just wake up one day and decide, “Today, I’m going to post about God.”This wasn’t some overnight transformation. It’s been a process. A personal one. A painful one.For a long time, I was just surviving.Between running two different businesses, working as a 911 dispatcher, and carrying the weight of back-to-back miscarriages, I never really had space to feel everything, let alone process it. I didn’t have the time to rest. To grieve. To ask God the questions that had been burning in my heart. I was too busy... Read more...
to my husband
I talk about him every chance I get, but not enough of him during our journey.But I see him.I see the way he has walked through this valley beside me, with quiet strength, steady hands, and a heart that’s carried both of our grief.Miscarriage and infertility have a way of stripping you down to your most vulnerable self. It tests your patience, your faith, and your marriage in ways no one can prepare you for. And through each miscarriage, each negative test, each month of hope followed by heartbreak, he... Read more...
Mother’s day 2025
Mother’s Day hasn’t always been hard for me. For years, it was a day I celebrated other women—my mom, my grandmothers, friends. But Mother’s Day has changed for me. It's become a day I don't really want to celebrate because I feel like I don't have anyone to celebrate me for being their mom. This was supposed to be my second Mother's Day as a mom or my first with Walker Reese. Maybe you know that feeling too. Maybe you’re reading this with tears already brimming because this day feels... Read more...
Am I questioning God for starting my IVF journey after 3 miscarriages and infertility?
Lately, I’ve been posting a lot about trusting God’s timing. About believing—even now—that He’s still writing our story. And I meant every word of it. But today? Today I cried. Like, ugly cried. It’s been months since I’ve let myself break down like that. I’ve gotten really good at holding things together, at praying the right prayers, and reminding myself (and others) that God is still good. But grief has a way of slipping through the cracks, and today, it came through a single, haunting question: “Am I going against... Read more...
Check Your Heart, Not Your Notifications
It’s funny how we’ve made checking our phones the last sacred ritual before bed. We scroll, we swipe, we catch up on the world and everyone else’s lives. My husband and I bring it up every so often; that we lay in bed scrolling as we start to wind down. And sometimes we wake and the first thing we check is our notifications. We live in a world that rarely stops talking. We scroll to distract ourselves, refresh notifications to feel connected, and answer messages that could probably wait until... Read more...
Faith in the Process
I had a two-hour ride this morning on the way to our first IVF consultation appointment with shaking hands a heart full of hope. I tend to overthink just about everything, and boy was my mind working in overdrive this morning! I’ve been awake since 3:30am and I was doing everything I could to occupy myself to keep my churning thoughts as still as I could. But surprisingly, the ride there was more of a quiet, strange, and calm surrender. It’s hard to put into words what it feels like... Read more...
LOVE THEM ANYWAY
I was reading my daily devotional this morning, and one of my notes struck a chord in me. Forgiveness is choosing to love when your heart wants to stay angry. Some days it’s easier to love strangers online than the people sitting next to me in real life. Because your neighbor can be the one who hurt you. But over time, it becomes a testimony. Your life becomes the evidence.   There was a season in my life where forgiveness felt impossible. Maybe you know the kind—the kind of pain... Read more...
🌧 Don’t Wait for the “Perfect” Forecast 🌤
There’s something comforting about checking the forecast before we plan a big day, isn’t there? We want clear skies for our celebrations, sunny weather for our adventures, and no storms in sight when we’re stepping out into something new. But life, much like the weather, is so unpredictable. Ecclesiastes 11:3–4“If clouds are full of water, they pour rain on the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there it will lie. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever... Read more...
God’s Promise to Give You Peace & Rest
Matthew 11:28-30, John 20:19-23, Psalm 55:22, Isaiah 53:1-5, Philippians 4:4-7, Colossians 3:12-17 I used to wear stress like it was stitched into my skin when I owned the boutique. If something could be worried over, I was already three steps ahead of it. But even outside of the business, I’d carry burdens like they were mine to fix, mine to hold, mine to suffer through quietly. Honestly, I thought that was just being strong. But the truth is—I wasn’t strong. I was just tired. And somewhere in the middle of... Read more...
JESUS FLIPPED THE TABLES
This is a long one, so bear with me. I won’t lie and say I didn’t get emotional typing this one.   There’s just something about this story in Mark 11 that gets to me. I’ve read it multiple times over the past few weeks, and it still never ceases to grasp my heart. Jesus walks into the temple, this place meant for prayer, worship, and God’s presence, and what does He find? Noise. Distraction. Self-interest. People going through the motions but missing the point. This is a topic I’ve... Read more...
You Are Not Behind
Whew. If I had a dollar for every time I whispered to myself, “I should be further along by now…” — I’d probably have a coffee fund for the rest of the year. It’s easy to feel like you’re playing catch-up in life, especially when your story hasn’t gone the way you thought it would. Maybe you’ve walked through loss. Maybe life detoured in ways you didn’t expect. Or maybe, like me, you found Jesus later than most around you — and now you’re trying to soak in the Bible,... Read more...
A Change of Heart
We did something big recently. We sold our business. A business my Mother-in-Love worked hard to build.One we poured our time, energy, creativity, and prayers into. Something that once felt like my calling — a dream come true. But then something shifted.It didn’t happen all at once… just a quiet stirring in my spirit.God started changing my heart. I felt like He was reminding me that I needed o slow down and make room for new life — in every sense of the word. Y’all know our story of grief... Read more...
Nervous but Obedient
Can I be honest for a second? Sometimes I get nervous to post about Jesus.Not because I’m ashamed of Him — goodness, no.But because I’m still learning. Still growing. Still figuring this whole walk of faith out. I’m a baby Christian.Still digging into God’s Word, still asking a lot of questions, still learning how to pray bold and live surrendered. And sometimes I wonder what people might think.“She’s posting scripture like she’s a preacher now?”“Didn’t she just get saved?”“She doesn’t even have it all together.” You know what? They’re right.I... Read more...
More Than Just Saying His Name
I’ve been sitting with a hard truth lately — one that stings a little, but needs to be said: Just because I claim His name doesn’t always mean I’m living by it. Oof. That one hit close. It’s easy to say “I’m a Christian.”To post a Bible verse, wear the shirt, play the worship music, and say “God’s got me.”But sometimes my attitude, my choices, my thoughts… don’t look much like Jesus at all. That’s not me throwing stones — that’s me holding up a mirror.Because I’ve been there.Still find... Read more...
It Hurt, But It Helped
"Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent... Read more...
Zephaniah 3:17
“The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves you. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will be quiet in his love. He will be quiet in His love. He will delight in you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17   Let me tell you something that still gets me every time I read it:God sings over me. Over you. Not just tolerates us. Not just watches over us.Sings. Like a mama humming over her baby. Like a Father overflowing with joy just because you're His. Zephaniah 3:17... Read more...
There’s a Sigh in My Soul
There’s a sigh in my soul lately. Not the kind that comes from being physically tired — but the deep kind. The kind that comes when your heart is trying to hold two truths at the same time. Like…I can truly love and respect someone, and still not agree with everything they say or do.I can give my all at work, pour my heart into it, and still know that my worth isn’t tied up in what I produce.I can believe God is good — and still feel the sting... Read more...
Reading Isaiah for the first time
Y’all… I just started reading the book of Isaiah for the first time, and whew — it’s a lot to take in.It starts off strong, like God’s saying, “Alright, let’s get honest.” It’s full of truth and conviction — the kind that makes you pause and ask, “Lord, is any of this about me?” I’ll be real… one verse had me sitting there thinking,“Am I trying to fix everything but forgetting to pray?”Because, ouch. Guilty!But the more I read, the more I saw how patient and loving God really is.... Read more...
TRUSTING GOD IN THE UNKNOWN
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) There’s a certain discomfort that comes with not knowing. Uncertainty leaves us feeling vulnerable, anxious, and out of control. Whether it’s a family situation, a health diagnosis, a broken relationship, or just not knowing what comes next—walking through the unknown can feel overwhelming. But what if the unknown isn’t something to fear… but an invitation to trust?... Read more...
Late-Night Lightbulbs: Discovering Who God Really Is
One of the most amazing things about reading Scripture for the first time (or even for the 100th time) is that I am always learning more about who God is. I currently work nightshift, which gives me a lot more “downtime” to work on devotionals and studies. I am always turning to my co-worker in awe over a passage I just read because it just clicks, you know? And I get so excited! There is no better feeling that reading scripture for the first time and actually understanding what God... Read more...
FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION
Forgiveness is such a complicated grace.I keep seeing the word "reconcile" everywhere I look. Even Early was a witness when I opened a random book in Barnes & Nobles last Sunday to yet another passage talking about reconciliation and forgiveness.Reconciliation happens when two parties at odds with one another are brought back together. One party reaches out to the other and will seek to establish peace in the conflict.But sometimes forgiveness is a quiet surrender in your own heart. It’s laying the weight of bitterness, betrayal, or heartbreak at the... Read more...
BEAUTY FROM ASHES: A FAITH JOURNEY
Mark 10: 27 says, “All things are possible with God.” That’s a strong statement, right?  Let me explain how this one statement - this one proclamation and affirmation quite literally restarted my mentality after battling so long with my grief.  If you are friends with me on social media, then you know that I am very vocal and open on my experience with my miscarriages and the loss of our son, Walker Reese. I have struggled with my mental health for years. I have tried medication, therapy, service animals, group... Read more...